Today you are beginning self-defense training. You have been considering this for quite some time. You still aren’t sure if you should. Or, if you can. You are terrified. You have lived through horrors that most cannot imagine. You know what people in this world are capable of. You want to be able to protect yourself. You want to live. But you know that self-defense training is going to re-open all of the wounds you have been desperately trying to cauterize. You are tired. You don’t feel like you have the strength for this, but you know that this is something you have to do. For yourself. To eventually help others if you ever can.
You are not alone. Continue reading
I can’t seem to quit diving head first towards all the things that scare the absolute sh*t out of me. For me, this is a benchmark of healing. After too many years, nearly two and a half spent fighting PTSD, I’m finally getting closer to once again being my true self. My freshman year of high school I joined the swim team—for the sole purpose of getting over my fear of water. (Note: still afraid of water. Still swim. Recently swam in the ocean. With humpback whales.) Continue reading